Having a random hookup so left but love u
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
