I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
