also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
