i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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