We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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