I want to stick my p in your. b.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
