I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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