This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
