I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
