pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
