sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
