He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Randomize
