i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
