she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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