No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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