Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
