he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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