I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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