I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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