so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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