come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
