Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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