Don't make out with my wife yet
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
