When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
