I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
