Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
