she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
