Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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