she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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