The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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