D3 body, D1 cock
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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