i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Fuck appropriateness.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
