i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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