how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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