I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
