Acid is not a monday night drug
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
