She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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