Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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