What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He has the fingertips of a God
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
