Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
