i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
