either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
