I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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