I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Randomize
