He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
