i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she looked like the before picture.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
