Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She bit a glass in half.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
