If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
