Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
