his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
